One of the “golden rules” of screenwriting is that you shouldn’t write what the characters are thinking, but anyone who reads a lot of produced scripts will tell you they see examples of it all the time.

So what gives? And when can you write what the character is thinking?

Why is there a rule against writing what the character is thinking?

If we want to plumb the emotional and psychological depths of our characters, it would make sense to share their thoughts since that’s where most of their feelings exist, but unfortunately film and TV audiences aren’t going to read your script. They only experience what they see and hear while watching. Unless you’re using voiceover, the character’s thoughts remain trapped on the pages of your script.

Does that mean pro screenwriters don’t write the character’s thoughts?

No, it doesn’t. If you read a lot of great scripts (which I highly recommend if you want to develop as a screenwriter) you’ll see countless examples of the characters’ thoughts being written in the action and description lines. Oftentimes they’ll be written in italics to denote that these are thoughts.

So when can you write out a character’s thoughts?

The answer lies in what I said earlier about film and TV. Audiences only know what they see and hear, so you need to find a way for the character’s thoughts to be seen and heard. Obviously you can use dialogue, but I’m more specifically talking about nonverbal means of communication. As a screenwriter one of your main jobs is to find ways to externalize the internal.

The easiest way for me to think about this is in terms of giving the actor something to work with. You want to give them thoughts and emotions they can convey to the audience through their actions, body language, and facial expressions. My goal is to write something that gets an actor excited and makes them think, “I can play that.”

How do you do it?

Let’s look at an example. Imagine you have a character who is trying to decide whether to eat the last piece of cake in the refrigerator. They know they’re not supposed to, but they want to eat it. They’re going to have a mental battle going on. How do we write that in the script so that the actor can portray it on screen?

First, a bad example:

Bob opens the refrigerator and sees the last piece of cake. It looks delicious, but he knows that if he eats it Samantha will be mad at him. He imagines the look she’ll give him when she opens the refrigerator in the morning and sees that it’s gone. It’s not worth it. But the cake does look good. The frosting is so creamy, like when his grandma used to make his birthday cakes as a child.

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Okay, it’s a little over the top, but the main problem with what I’ve written is that it doesn’t give the actor much to do except stare off into space and drool a little bit.  Now let’s try a different example where we try to externalize how he feels.

Bob opens the refrigerator and sees the delicious cake. He licks his lips and reaches for it… but catches himself. No. It’s not worth it. He balls his hand into a fist and pulls it back, shutting the fridge door.

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He stands there a moment, proud of himself. Well done.

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He looks down at his hand. Hmm, it’s still on the door handle. He pulls it open. Sees the cake again. He leans toward it as if it’s drawing him forward with gravity…

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The difference between the two examples is that you can actually picture the second one. He licks his lips and reaches for the cakes. He hesitates and then finds the resolve to resist. He gives a self-satisfied smirk. But then the temptation takes hold again… Instead of an interior monologue it focuses on the emotions and reactions of the character. Their internal battle is being displayed externally. I think it’s a lot more engaging than the first example.

Try this approach in your script and see how it works!

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