As screenwriters we try to convey information to the reader as succinctly as possible without sacrificing our artistic aims or compromising the story we’re trying to tell. It’s an exercise in balanced economy, and it’s really hard! It can make simple things like introducing characters in your script feel perilous.

To make it just a little easier, here are some tips and pointers for writing great character intros that hook the reader and compel them to keep reading.

The Basics

Let’s start with a quick rundown of the formatting basics when introducing a character. The first time the character is mentioned in your script write their name in all caps along with their age, gender, and ethnicity if it’s relevant to your story. The age can be a specific number or something more general like “30s” or “elderly.” Only be as specific as you need to be.

There are different ways to convey this information, but a really common one is to include the age and gender in parentheses following the name. It looks something like this:

SEAN HARRISON (30s, male) enters the room.

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You can also take some shortcuts here. For instance, instead of saying “male” you can throw in a pronoun like this:

SEAN HARRISON (30s) enters the room. He’s surprised to see Brenda.

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The “He” lets us know he’s male, so I can cut that from the parentheses and have it read a little smoother. It works in this context in particular because with the name Sean the reader is probably assuming the character is male, and the “He” subtly confirms it. This also gives us space to mention his ethnicity if that was relevant:

SEAN HARRISON (30s, Black) enters the room. He’s surprised to see Brenda.

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If you’re going against the reader’s expectation, say by having Sean be a female character, I’d suggest calling it out a little more to avoid confusion. For instance, you could include her gender and a pronoun, like this:

SEAN HARRISON (30s, female) enters the room. She’s surprised to see Brenda.

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This anticipates and smoothly answers the reader’s question (Sean is a girl?) without breaking the flow, and mentioning it twice confirms it wasn't a typo.

Of course, parentheses are just one way of doing this. You can also include the biographical details in the sentence. Here are two examples:

SEAN HARRISON, a Black man in his 30s, enters the room. He’s surprised to see Brenda.

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Brenda looks up and sees a man in his 30s enter. This is SEAN HARRISON. He surveys the room and is surprised to see Brenda.

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Their Description

Of course, our characters are not just defined by their age, gender, and ethnicity. They have physical and personality characteristics as well. Theoretically you could write pages describing these in details. That would make the reader chuck your script into the trash, however, so what details should you include when we first meet them?

Your goal is to create a quick and lasting impression in the reader’s mind so they can picture this character moving forward. Ask yourself what you want the reader to think about when they think of this character. You can start with what makes the character unique. This could be a physical detail, or some aspect of their demeanor or personality.

Here are some examples:

SEAN HARRISON (30s) ducks to keep his head from hitting the doorframe as he enters the room. He scans over the heads of the crowd and is surprised to see Brenda. He heads straight toward her as the crowd parts in front of him.

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SEAN HARRISON (30s) enters and hesitates by the door. He scans the room on his tiptoes and flinches when he sees Brenda. He looks back to the door, but she’s already seen him.

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What do we know about these two versions of Sean? The first one is tall and decisive. The second one is short and tentative. You’ll notice I never said any of those things; they were implied by the action and description. Of course, another option is state them, like:

SEAN HARRISON (30s), tall and decisive, enters the room.

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This version isn’t wrong per se, but I prefer to show the reader who the character is when possible instead of telling them.

What’s their deal?

This brings me to my last point on character intros which is a little more advanced, and that's what your characters should actually be doing when we meet them. This is most relevant for your main characters.

The particulars will be determined by what’s happening in your story at that moment, but one thing to keep in mind is to have them reveal who they are through their actions. (Both what they do and how they're doing it.) One of the easiest ways is to show them dealing with some kind of problem. Seeing how they deal with the problem answers another of the reader’s questions, “What’s their deal?”

“What’s their deal?” encompasses a lot of things. Chief among these is yet another question, “What’s the character’s problem?” This problem is generally driving your whole story, so the quicker you can establish it the better. You can also introduce the character's strengths, their flaws, and their goal for the story in the same way. Of course you don't have to answer every question about the character when you introduce them. It's also a great strategy to have a little mystery to make the reader ask "Why'd they do that?"

Showing the reader the character's problem, flaws, and goal has something in common with introducing a mystery. They all make the reader want to see what happens next. They want to see how the problem manifests, how the character's flaws lead to complications as they pursue their goal, and what the answer to the mystery is. You're creating an itch they need to scratch. The only way to scratch it is to keep reading.

When you follow these strategies you're not just introducing a character, you're hooking the reader.